Ok, so maybe I won’t actually quit, but I really hate it sometimes. I mean who likes having the unused nipple pinched, scratched, twisted, pulled and mangled? Jack has become obsessed with this other nipple. I wear tight-necked shirts so that it is impossible for him to get in there, but he practically rips my shirt or has a meltdown. I wear necklaces of various types, but he is too smart for this now. He knows this is just a ploy to distract him and he ignores the necklaces all together. I try to hand him toys to hold and he pushes them away to begin his expedition into my shirt.
Breastfeeding is the thing I will always be the most proud of in life. We fought tooth and nail to get here. We overcame obstacles. We persevered. Blah, blah, blah. My neck hurts! I lie on my side all night so that he can nurse on demand. But nowadays he only wants the top boob; whichever one that is at the time. So I have to lean my body over and then toss my head and limbs in the opposite direction to maintain balance. I wake up with a stiff neck, sore hips and a bad attitude.
On top of all of this Jack has been nursing like a newborn lately. He is on my boob every 20 minutes! I tried to walk to the drug store and back the other day. It is 2 blocks away. He couldn’t make it. I NIP freely, but that’s not the point. I just wanted to run an errand and go home! He latches on and then the digging begins. The exploration through the scarf and shirt to find the other nipple. That hidden nipple that he must have right here right now!
Well, it felt good to get that out while I lie here nursing my boobie baby to sleep.
Abby Theuring, MSW
My 18 month old was breast feeding every 2 hours during the night, until I told him that my boobies were asleep and he had to wait to the morning. He understood right away. Now I sleep much better :)
I couldn’t of said it better myself! I think that’s why I started to wean him, but I don’t want to end this beautiful moment!
This is me and my 16 month old son. Word for word.
HAHA My 19 month old does the same thing. But she climbs me like some fun castle to get to the “top boob” Shoves me over in my sleep so she can dangle off the edge of the bed allowing me to NOT doze contentedly as she nurses. She also loves to dig her fingers into my mouth and nose so unless I tilt my head as far as it will go, shes likely to dig for gold and then smear whatever she finds all over my chest. (grossssss)
This sounds EXACTLY like my 20-month-old Bentley! Thank you for sharing so I know that I’m not the only one!
Thank you. Reading these other stories makes me laugh, because mine does the same (almost a year). I’m wearing a regular bar at work now, had decided enough was enough with nursing ‘I’m done, cold turkey’ but now Miss. Mollyanne can have another night of nursing. Thanks for the smiles and support!
regular bra!
My now 4 year old fed until he was 3 and a half, and his thing was playing with my hair, which was really sweet, he still plays with it as he goes to sleep, but now he grabs great handfuls and twists, or plucks one or two hairs out which HURTS! my 10 month old likes to feed from the top one when I lay to feed him as well, but he sits up and sideways to me, so that works. but some days he’s sitting to the top one then flopping down to the bottom one, up to top one … oh look at that interesting thing over there (ouch!~ let go first please!!!) up and down for 20 minutes until he settles to sleep.
but when they want to play with the other nipple it just feels like an intrusion to far on your body sometimes!
I breast fed all 5 of mine from as little as 16 months to 3 and a half (and who knows how long for ‘definately the last!’) and despite feeling a bit fed up sometimes with it breastfeeding is certianly one of the most worthwhile things I have ever done, and I treasure it.
Hey- I am breastfeeding my 6th toddler now and they all seem to go through this phase. If I want to nurse lying down, she sits up with her face towards the head of the bed. Then she will just put her head down on my side. I can sleep ALL NIGHT like this. I wish I had figured it out 5 babies ago before all my brain cells died of sleep deprivation!
Baha this is my boy exactly! He’s 20 months now and no sign of change any time soon:/ oh I did manage to conquer the night feeds tho – I lay on my back and let him feed on top. Took him a few nights to get the hang of it but he’s too busy wanting boob to be bothered with fussing/crying so it saves my back and he can have whichever side he wants while I sleep. I often (always?) Wake up with him sleeping on my chest now! So darn cute:D
That has got to be the cutest thing I’ve seen – well, other than my children lol. Mom…you rock! keeping up with it through all of that?! My 3 year old is done nursing (now nursing a 5 month old) his thing is grabbing my ear and holding it when he’s cuddling with me or napping with me. Early on it was the cutest most sweetest thing, but now that he’s bigger and stronger…..it hurts like hell! lol. But because i love him so and it soothes him, i withstand through the pain. MOMS ROCK!!!
Holy cats, my LO is almost 3 and she has done this since she was 9 months or so. I can’t get her to stop and I won’t try. When I ovulate the twiddling is the worst.
I feel the same way sometimes. I love nursing my 14 month old daughter at times when it makes us feel so close, but not always at 3 in the morning when she wants to nurse for half and hour until my nipples hurt! I’m tired, but I don’t want to give up this precious time with her, or the health benefits for both of us. I would be sad if I gave up now, but some days I’d just like to wear a normal bra and not have someone pulling on my shirt in public.
My 7 month old daughter (next week) occationally grabs my nipple but then I just pull my top up and she stops. She’ll then grab a chunk of my skin/flesh instead. She just wants somthing/anything to hold on to. I hope I can keep it that way.
Love your blog. Always holding my breath for the next entry:)
I was just thinking about how annoying the nipple pulling is. I seriously thought I was the only one with a child who did this!! And the top boob thing is killing me too. I have been nursing a child (I have 3) for the past 8.5 years. My youngest is 2.5 and my body is really starting to suffer from all the years of sleeping contorted, but I don’t regret any of it. I am, however ready to be done breastfeeding, but my daugther will not agree.
wow. I am dealing with the same thing. The nipple tweaking, well theres nothing I can do about this. He is 21 months and thinks he is in charge. The night nursing has gotten better. Say I am sleeping on my back. He lays on my left arm (in the crook near my armpit, kinda) he breastfeeds off that breast and when hes ready for the next one, he has figured out how to get on top of me, tummy to tummy and get the right one. This has made it much easier on my neck, however it takes at least 45 minutes of constant nursing and switching from side-to-side LITERALLY 25-30 times till he falls asleep. There is no better feeling then when I see those eyes finally close and I pop the pacifier in his mouth. Ahhhhhh!!!!!!
Its like you read my mind! The grabbing, pawing, scratching, twisting has been making me crazy! The night nursing is the worst. She is 15 months now. Some nights I wish I had bought a crib, I would start sleep training immediately! lol
Oh my gosh I am SO glad I’m not the only one!!! I don’t know many extended BFers, so I have no one to talk to about the “other nipple obsession” with! It’s funny, but then it starts to hurt…and when you try to push the hand away the meltdown begins… you have NO IDEA what sigh of relief this is, to know that I am not the only one!!! I just found your blog, like seconds ago. I am sooooo digging in to catch up on what I’ve missed!!! :)
My little girl is almost four and is still doing this. Breastfeeding is not breastfeeding if she’s not allowed to play with the other nipple. I try to talk with her and let her know that it really hurts after a while, and it’s very annoying, but she doesn’t accept it. She has a meltdown and threaten me she would stop breastfeeding … :-)
Damn twiddling! It is a phase though and WILL pass. My son used to do it hardcore and rarely does now. I tell him if he keeps it up we’ll have to be ‘all done’ and he stops and will hold my hand instead.
I actually prefer to nurse from the top boob when I’m on my side. Although my son is 28 months so I’d really prefer not to night nurse much if it all.
Lol, I did a double take! Your lil guy could pass for my sons twin! It’s uncanny! My lil guy Shane is 10 months old and also is obsessed with the other nipple and given his strength boy does it hurt! Drives me batty, glad I’m not the only one.
The same with us :) Cheers form Norway!
I have twin girls who are 13 months old and one twin is like that. So when they are tandem feeding she is CONSTANTLY yanking the nipple away from the other so she can hold it/twist it/pinch it/tweak it etc. It’s very annoying. She’s also the twin who wants to be on boob constantly. Hate to say it but, the bfing relationship with the other twin is better because she is gentle and patient and just takes it before mealtimes and before bed (and in the night) but the boob-rabid baby causes me a lot of aggravation with the constant nipple inching and yanking my shirt down.
I am so glad that I read this…it is like you are telling the story of my life…my everyday! My youngest son is 16 months and he is exactly like Jack. Everything you wrote…I swear my Benjamin is exactly the same. WOW – feels great to know that I am not the only one who goes through this.
Mine went through a top-boob phase, too! It was a pretty long phase, but it did end. I did some gentle talking about my comfort when it wasn’t nursing to sleep of course, but nursing awake was a good time to talk it out.
She (4yrs 4mo, now) does the nipple dig, twist, pull, etc. It took a while, but she got used to me taking her hand away once in a while (14-18mo), usually in public or when I’m talking to a friend who isn’t used to it. I’d look at her and say, “Not right now.” It might take a 2-4 times in that moment, but it would work and as she got older, she caught on that sometimes Mom needed to control her breast – at that point, I’d just pull her hand away and tsk.
She also liked to hang her hand on my mouth – now she just rubs my lips. I’ve had to go through the, “Not right now.” with those issues, too. I try to remind myself that I am her security blanket and it’s what I wanted. I think I’ve done ok or better in working with her to get to this point where she can usually handle occasionally being told, “no lips/nipple, just nurse.” I then put her hand where I don’t mind it, usually in the middle of my chest or the curve of my free boob or underside of my chin/jaw.
I love the post!
Its like youve been watching us! Im nursing my fifth baby (all of whom I’ve nursed a year or more) and he’s the second one to have this nipple obsession. He does it even when not nursing. I cant go to the store, or church, or anywhere without being fondled constantly. And it hurts! He digs his nails in, pinches, twists and pulls it up and out of my shirt. He also nurses about every 20 minutes and I also have to lean over at night so he can reach the top boob!
I swear, you’ve been reading our mail! Thanks for sharing!
I have a similar problem with my 5 month old! she grabs handfuls of boob flesh and squeeze and knead me….from what I understand it’s their way of getting the milk flow going. So far she hasn’t tried to mess with the other side but I’m sure it’s just a matter of time, LOL
Mine is doing this exact same thing as I read this! It’s horrible! I had a dream last night that I skinned my nipple all up and it was all mangled. Turns out she was roughing it up as I was dreaming and sleeping away. Glad I’m not the only one enduring this.
I had that nipple experience, and read that we can give a toy or things to fondle. So prepare and see if it helps, I have not tried it now I have twins and both sides are taken!
Yup. This is my life right now. This is why I laugh when people say moms nursing toddlers are only doing it for their pleasure… yeah, because I love having my other nipple destroyed when being bitten and stepped on while my toddler boy nurses all night and I get no sleep. It’s all for MY pleasure. :p
To add to that, make the necklace really long so that it dangles in front of baby/toddler’s face. 8-) Takes some coaxing, but I promise in a week or two it will be one of the best toys your kid has ever owned!
I hated that too. I made a breastfeeding necklace last time. It had really big, bright wooden beads to distract her from my nipple and any time her hand went toward the other boob I simply jiggled the necklace so she would want to play with that instead. Eventually she caught onto it and it worked out really well!
Hope that helps :-)
How old is your bub? My baby is 9 months and I have the same problem. I’ve been trying to find peace with the fact he doesn’t sleep through the night cos he feeds constantly. I asked the nurse and she said he needs more solids. He just wants boobs though! Please dot stop blogging because I’d so like to hear your experiences with weaning etc.
OMG… that sounds just like my son!!!! And whenever he has a chance, he flings a foot up to pull my hair!
Reading this post I have to agree that this type of breasfeeding does not sound enjoyable. Who would like to have their nipples pinched the whole time?
I’m no expert but I hope to help you make nursing more enjoyable.
I nursed both my boys sucessfully! My first born nursed for 18 months, my second only until his teeth came in at about 6 months. I’m currently expecting baby #3 and will breastfeed this little one too.
First thing we did was schedule. I did not nurse on demand. I nursed every 3 hours during the day (waking the child if needed) for 15 minutes on each side. It is very important to make sure they are awake and nursing and NOT NURSED TO SLEEP.
Many times when mothers nurse their babies to sleep, the baby starts to associate being tired with the need to nurse, when in fact they are not hungry at all. In this case, your breast is being used as a pacifier and it gets old, really fast!
I never woke my babies in the night to nurse and they both slept throught the night (6+ hours straight) at 8 weeks of age.
There is a schedule I followed when breastfeeding. Nurse, awake time (play) then nap. NEVER nursing my babies to sleep (for the reason stated above)!
We love nursing. It is such a bonding time and can be for you too.
I hope you are able to adjust your nursing schedule and can find out how awesome breastfeeding can be!
Good luck!
~Angela
This is very normal, but I’d love to say it goes away. It doesn’t. I just kept moving his hand away from my nipple to stop him from pinching it.
As far as night nursing sessions, can you keep offering the bottom breast over and over? You probably have tried this already. Have you considered boosting him up with a pillow under him so you don’t have to be a contortionist all night?
When I nurse in bed I lay on my back. I put a pillow on each side of me and I let him figure it out. The pillows are to support my arms, which act as his head/neck support. It is the only way I can nurse in bed and not have it hurt my back.
When he was a lot younger, I gave up on nursing in bed. I had a recliner in the room and I walked over, nursed him, and we went back to bed after we were done. Now that he’s older, he only nurses in the mornings so we use the aforementioned, pillow method.
Good luck, and I’m a huge fan of your blog and facebook page!
I completely understand! Nursing has become an olympic sport around here. My LO is obessed with my neck so she pinches at it, hits it, grabs my collar bone and digs her fingers in, goes for my jugular and slaps it hard, etc. And she is constantly trying to climb me while nursing as well. I tell her this is no way to treat your food but she continues on! How old is your LO? Mine is 13 months (almost 14) and in the afternoon she seems to nurse like a newborn as well. I don’t think it’s for food but for comfort and closeness but, for the first time in our nursing lives, it’s starting to get a little annoying as soon as I put my shirt down she’s signing for more milk
Omg, its like you’re talking about my son
Sounds like my daughter and I!!! Except I’ve never let her explore the other nipple.. Lol
I’ve gone through the pinching, scratching, tugging, and a bite here or there. It’s all worth it though!!
Omg your son is like my son. Top boob, other nipple obsession, nursing often. Holy moly get your hands out of my bra kiddo. If it isn’t nap time I continue to distract. we have gotten to yelling in anger yet but he digs like that is his job. My boy is 15 months and I hope it stops soon. I love breast feeding by my other boob not a huge fan. No advice just letting you know you are definitely not alone. Keep on keeping on!
I’ve been feeling the same way lately:( My little one has also been wanting to nurse constantly, and when she does, she wants to pop on and off, on and off, causing tenderness from all the latching and unlatching. Of course, these continues into the night. I nurse on demand also, and I haven’t been able to get a good night’s sleep, either because she’s waking me up when she’s waking herself up from throwing a fit because she doesn’t immediately find the boob when she’s ready (since she shifts in her sleep), or because I’m stiff from being in the same position. I just keep thinking “When is this going to be over?” But we’re hanging in there!
We would set limits for our children’s benefits, so why can we do that for our selves? And I am as guilty as the next one, my son only wants to nurse lying down so guess who will even lie in the back seat of a car if need me..me! But when what we do causes us to be in pain, loose too much sleep and be frustrated, then we aren’t being the best moms we can be.
If my son was picking his nose, I would tell him to stop and stick to it even if he cries. But for some reason I am less willing to do that when he flicks and digs at my nipple and that hurts mommy!
If my son only wanted to eat whole grapes (hello choking hazard) I would say no, even if he refused to eat anything else I wouldn’t give in because that would be harmful to him. Yet if top boob night feeding is making me have a crick in my neck and a bite to my voice in the morning, oh well I can’t say no. Or can I?
Our children deserve the best from us and the best includes limits, whether it is to allow them to function as productive non-nose picking members of society or whether it is let them have mommies without mauled nipples. I know I can do better and for my son’s sake I will try to set more limits; limits that don’t hurt the bond we have formed but helps it and helps us be the best we can be, together.
So glad my child is not the only one obsessed with the “other” nipple! 19 months and can’t go to sleep without holding on. :)
Oh my gosh, is this why I wake up with a stuff neck all the time??? You mean, I’m not alone in that and IT IS from nursing my ill guy? He’s 6 mos Sunday & my neck is so stiff I can’t even move it!! Aahhh,l Ty for sharing, my necks still stif but I feel so much better!
I always laugh to myself when people ask me “You nurse a 14 month old? She has teeth! What if she bites?!” Right. An occasional bite is a walk in the park compared to the constant pinching, scratching, and thrashing. It’s not quite so bad as it used to be and now that she’s older I can start to enforce some nursing manners. I remember when my period came back at 7 months postpartum while she popped 2 new teeth… I thought I was going to have to jump out the window. I was as close to quitting as I’ve ever been.
I have a 20 month old and she is the exact same way lol!! She has been nursing like a newborn lately and I have to lay the same way in bed at night lol! I ran to the store the other day and just wanted to be in and out and she just HAD to nurse so I gave in lol…. I loooove to breastfeed though and I ABSOLUTELY ADORE my princess so I let her have her way! :) What the princess wants is what the princess gets!
OMG! I Feel the same way my son does it too sometimes its insane sometimes! My back hurts every day!!!!! I tought i was the only one having this expierence!
It’s like you’re in my brain right now. My 11 month old does all of the above! Why is the other nipple so appealing?
Wow this is spot on with our breastfeeding relationship right now. I’m going freaking crazy trying to get the other nipple out of her mind. It grates on my nerves soooooooooo bad! If I take it away from her then she freaks out and starts pawing (read scratching, slapping, pinching, pulling, etc) my shirt, chest, and face like some kind of rabid booby monster. All I can do to continue is to smile after she’s asleep and say this will pass too, because I’ve had nights like this where I told myself that we’re done too. Good luck mama!
so my son has had that obsession since he was like 8mos old n it really bothered me…he would cry and get mad if i didnt let him touch it…finally after i couldn’t take it anymore one day i just let him put his hand on my other nipple n placed mine on top of his so he could touch it but not pinch it…seemed to be fine for him and i was like thank-you! he is now 2 1/2 and still wants to get the other one out but i haven’t given up yet no matter how bad it bugs me, hopefully he will be ready to stop soon..n give me my boobs back!
I know this is crazy but I remember when my mom weaned me, not exactly I just remember I tried to pull her shirt up, and I remember she told me no. She weaned me and I guess that was her breaking point. Lol.
Ah the top boob!! That’s all my son wants too!!! Doesn’t go so well with an already bad back!!:)
my 12 month old does the same thing. He is always fiddling with the other breast! Right now we’re teething and has been biting me! OUCH!!
I know exactly how you feel! He won’t go out of his way to find the other nipple though. If he can’t get to it he’ll just rub on the inside of the other breast. Or pinch me with his nails near the nipple he can get to. If he’s sleepy he rubs, if not he pinches. But, don’t get me wrong, I love breastfeeding. I plan to go as long as he wants(he’s eleven months right now). We fought though so many issues and even had to supplement for awhile till I could get my supply up. I used the supplementers and he didn’t get a bottle and I fought and I fought. And we’re here and haven’t had any formula in at least 5 months. I just wish he wouldn’t pinch me. Or his new fun trick which is head butting the breast– that’s fun! Oh, motherhood!
Mine started doing this also and I don’t know what to do to stop it. I love breastfeeding but I feel its getting too much. She’s always distracted and pulls my nipple which makes it feel like a piece.of rubber. But i guess these are the joys of breastfeeding, the good and the bad.
My son is 3 still has that obsession. I am ready to be done but he is not :( If he doesn’t have access to the other side he will have a complete meltdown. Ugh!
I had that issue with my first. With my second, she’s never been allowed to touch the “other boob” because I knew how annoying it would be!!
Thanks for sharing. My last was the sweetest nurser he would stroke my face my arm my chest whatever was in his reach he would just softly stroke it. This Mr. isn’t as sweet i’m getting baby fist pounded and scratched and grabbed at so I have been trying to open his hand and say nice touch. and show him gentle is appreciated wish me luck ! I feel badly for your other nipple whicever it may be at the time. I’m sure they weren’t expecting to be that roughed up.
We are right there with you, mama! You’re doing a great job!
My daughter was the same way! Always holding onto the unused nip like it would fly away if she didn’t. Im not sure why but every single time. Glad she has outgrown that! Good luck mama!
I read, once upon a time, that our babies twiddling and playing with our free nipple is a way for them to increase our milk production. Combined with him nursing more frequently right now, could he be going through a growth spurt?